


Tears are falling

by Youthgoneoscarwilde



Category: KISS (US Band)
Genre: Bulimia, Fluff, Issues, M/M, No Sex, Problems, Sex, Sweet, Understanding, Weight Issues, body issues, feeling unattractive, hard on, jerking off, kissing making out, no talking, throwing up, wrong body feeling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23916106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Youthgoneoscarwilde/pseuds/Youthgoneoscarwilde
Summary: To say that Paul’s selfesteem has been down since he started dating ace would be a lie. It was like it didn’t existed.
Relationships: Ace Frehley/Paul Stanley
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Tears are falling

**Author's Note:**

> This is nothing but fiction and has nothing to do with the characters real life. It’s also not based on real events, I don’t make any money from it - I don’t wanna disrespect anyone’s private life, I also respect real relationships and peoples lives!
> 
> Please notice that I don’t want to body shame anyone, there’s is nothing wrong with being big or small and I am away that fat is just an adjective like skinny! I did this to project Paul’s Body issues and feelings! That’s all, so if you have a problem with bulimia or body issues, PLEASE DONT read it. Stay safe and reach out for help if needed.  
> Lots of love A

To say that Paul’s selfesteem has been down since he started dating Ace would have been a lie. It was like it didn’t existed.   
His body issues had just gotten worse, wondering why someone as pretty as Ace would be with someone like him. He had recently lost some pounds by eating very little and working out till his body was too tired. He still didn’t liked the way he looked, especially not when he compared himself to Ace, all skinny and legs. And he didn’t liked when Ace touched him, well it brought pleasure but it was often pushed away and over shadowed with self-doubt. Ace would squeeze his thights or have his hand run down his chest and all he could think about was how fat he was and how Ace was feeling it too now. Touching or squeezing all the fat. When Ace tried to get him in his lap he could only think about how now he would look even bigger and Ace would feel his weight crushing down on him. 

In the evening Ace had come over to Paul’s parents place and since they were home alone they had been laying on Paul’s bed, cuddling and listening to vinyls. 

Paul’s stomached had started to growl but he tried to overplay it by coughing. ,, Let’s get some food from down the street“ Ace had murmured, hand playing with Paul’s curls. ,, I am not hungry.“ Paul answered. ,, Bullshit. I heard your stomach growl for the last twenty minutes!“ Paul nuzzled his face into Aces neck. ,, Its nothing.“ He said. ,, How about I just run down to the restaurant down the street and get us some take out, okay? What do you want?“ ,, Nothing. I am really not hungry.... you can get yourself something, though.“ ,, Oh baby, I am worried... you sound hungry.“ ,, No, I am fine, really.“ Paul lied. Though he already felt a bit sick because of hunger. ,, Okay....“ Ace Said, getting up from the bed. ,, I will call the delivery service, okay? Order a pizza for myself.“ ,, Yeah sure.“ Paul smiled. ,, You sure you ain’t want something?“ Ace asked again as he was about to leave the room and Paul’s tummy growled again. ,,I am fine“ He answered. Ace gave him a look all over that made Paul nervous and shift.

,, Should be here in 30 minutes“ Ace said when he came back into the room. ,,But you know,until then....“ He winked at Paul, before crawling back onto the bed and over Paul. His lips meet Pauls and for a moment they just kissed and it was fine, then however Paul felt a hand moving down between their bodies, he pushed Ace away and sat up. ,, How... How about I change the music?” Ace made a funny face at first but then moved to let Paul get up.

Paul seachred through his vinyls for some time, knowing damn well that Ace wouldn’t wait all afternoon. When he felt like he couldn’t take any more time, he put another vinyl on and turned the sound up.

Ace was sitting on the edge of his bed, looking at him. ,, Do you want something to drink or...“ Ace rolled his eyes with a grin. ,, No“ He reached for Paul, hands pulling him closer by his hips. ,,We...we also have some snacks.“ Paul stuttered as Ace began to work on his belt. ,, Paullii“ The other whined. ,, I don’t want food or drinks, I want you.“ ,, I....uhm“ Paul stared at him for a moment, before he dropped to his knees and let his fingers trace up Ace trousers.   
Aces fingers moved to his hair and for a moment Paul thought that he was safe, that he could just blow Ace and the situation was saved. Even though he had never sucked anyone’s dick, even though he was scared. But then Ace tugged slightly at his hair to move him back up. 

,, As much as I like getting my dick sucked, I had something in mind that featured me and you naked, not just my dick in your mouth, Paulie. Even though I am sure, You would look very pretty with your mouth on my dick. Ace fingers wandered over Paul’s chest down to his crotch. ,, No!“ Paul yelled when he felt Ace tucking at his shirt. ,,No?“ Ace raised an eyebrow. ,, I...I meant“,,You know what? I don’t care what you meant! We have been together for three months now and you never let me touch you in anyway. But you also don’t want to explain what’s going on! I am tired of it, kissing, kissing, kissing, alright, my hand moves just an inch and you are freaking out! It’s frustrating and I am tired of it! Do you not want me? Are you fucking with someone else?!“ ,,No of course not!“Ace rolled his eyes. ,,Tell me then, what is it?“ ,, I...Ace...“ Ace rolled his eyes and noded. ,,Alright then, fuck you.“ He run out of the room and as Paul tried to follow him left the building. 

Paul could feel hot tears running down his face and ugly sobs leaving his mouth. Fuck, now he had scared away the one person that he really liked. He threw himself down on his bed and started to cry even more. When there was a ring on the door he slowly got up and when he opened was greated by Ace pizza delivery.  
He took the box and ate the whole thing while crying.  
Afterwards he felt fat and disgusting as he looked at the empty box and run to the bathroom to put a finger down his throat.  
He didn’t felt better until he had puked out everything possible.   
Paul heard his mom coming home just as he had gotten up from puking. He slowly moved out of the bathroom. 

,,Hey Sta- is everything alright with you?“ His mom asked, a worried look on her face. ,, Yeah... I am just gonna go to bed.“ He moved past her and back to his room. 

Paul curled up on his bed, feeling horrible. He knew that he could have never kept Ace from wanting much more for much longer, but he had at least hoped that he could have kept him happy with giving him a blow job whenever Ace wanted more, at least for a few weeks. At least until he had lost some more weight, he was still wondering how Ace could be attracted to him, fat and ugly. He didn’t get how Ace wanted to make out all the time and could get hard while looking and thinking about him. And now that was also the reason why Ace had run off.

He cried even harder as his fingers crammed around the fat on his belly. Unattractive.

He woke up the next morning, skipped breakfast, even though his mom told him he looked like he really needed something to eat.   
Back in his room he stared at a picture, that was taken a few weeks ago, of him and Ace laughing about something. It was the closed to a couple picture that he could have in his room without his parents asking questions. Actually Ace had given the framed picture to him as a present, all shy and looking up from under his hair. Paul found it adorable that loud and crazy Ace could be like this. Nervous and blushing while handing Paul the badly wrapped present. He had put it on the shelve across from the bed because this way he could see it while laying in bed.   
Though he didn’t liked how chubby his cheeks looked in the picture, he was happy that he had lost some pounds since the picture was taken.   
He also remembered the day because after Ace had given him the picture they had fallen asleep on Aces bed and Paul woke up with Ace jerking him off. The sun was shining through the windows into the room and it was quite as New York could get in the middle of a day, Aces parents weren’t home and the only sounds that echoed through the flat were Paul’s moans. He wouldn’t have liked that Ace touched his fat like this, but he was almost there and for once his mind didn’t had the time to think about the fact that Ace might see how fat he was. Ace had kissed him lazily afterwards and then stared into his eyes as he licked the cum of his fingers.

Looking back Paul didn’t liked that Ace touched and saw him like this, not because he didn’t wanted Ace, which he did, but because he felt unattractive.

Now he was curled up on his bed, sobbing and trying to think about how he could get Ace to forgive him and somehow keep him from touching. 

Paul was still laying there when there was a soft knock on the door. ,,Stanley? It’s Ace.“ His mother announced and Paul murmured a ,,tell him to go away.“ ,, Paulie, come on. I wanna talk to you.“ Paul hissed but answered: ,, Come In.“ 

He Heard the door open and close and then the bed behind him moved. ,, Paulie?“ Ace asked, his fingers carefully touching the others cheek. ,, Paul, come on. I am sorry.... I...I was overreacting. It’s just.... It feels like you don’t want to really be with me, well at least not sexually. We kiss and you want to blow me but you never let me touch you. It’s like you are disgusted by my touch.“ ,, It’s not you.“ Paul murmured, slowly turning around to face Ace. He started to play around with the hem of his shirt, his cheeks growing red and nervously licking his lips. Ace tried to smile and touched Paul’s face. ,,What is it then, Baby?“ ,,I...Ace.“ ,,Come on, Paulie. You can tell me everything.“ ,, It’s me.“ Paul whispered. ,, What do you mean?“ Ace asked. ,, I... I am not attractive, I am ugly and fat and I can’t understand how you could be attracted to me! I can only think about how you are gonna feel all the fat of me whenever you touch me and how you are going to see it all bounce and move if we had sex. I... I know it’s unattractive, please don’t leave me! I will blow you whenever you want and you can have sex with others, but stay with me.“

Ace stared at him as streams of hot tears wandered down Paul’s cheek, then he moved closers, fingers carefully whipping away the tears before he leaned down to kiss Paul. ,, Babe“ He whispered.   
Paul tuned his face away from him. ,, Baby you Are Talking Nonsense. You are so damn sexy, I don’t wanna sleep with anyone else! Don’t you noticed how hard you get me? Gosh, If you would only let me touch you, I would spend every moment loving you. You are so fucking perfect.“ ,, Don’t lie to me.“ Paul whispered, as Ace moved over him, kissing him once more. ,, I am not. I can only think about you, you are driving me, Pauli. All hard and mad. Lemme show you and worship you.“ Paul looked down onto his body but then slowly noded. ,, If you really wanna touch me, I can understand if you don’t want to.“ Aces hands slowly pushed the others shirt up, even though he could feel Paul blush, but Ace started to kiss his body and suck at his neck, paying attanchen to every Millimeter of Paul’s body and murmuring how sexy and good looking the other was. Ace could feel the way Pauls Hand flinched to try and cover his body but the other kept pushing them away.

Then Paul lay completely naked in front of the other, head turned aside. Ace reached for his hand and pressed it between his own legs; ,,Feel what you do to me.“ He whispered. ,, Ace...I.“ Paul slowly turned his face to Ace and blushed. ,,It’s okay, Paulie. We don’t have to do it right now, we will work this out, okay? I will show you how fucking sexy you are! And we will have dinner in the evening together every day.“ Paul bit his lip, but still a small smile appeared. ,, I love you“ He murmured. ,, I love you too, Paulie.“


End file.
